I’m going to make you feel better about something. If you have had a fight with your partner recently you are not alone. If you’ve never had a fight with your partner then you’re lucky and I find this pretty amazing. I had a fight with my husband last weekend. It was a silly fight based around our renovation project and kitchen island bench we’re installing. It was a horrible fight on Saturday morning and a crap start to and otherwise glorious weekend. But we have been together for along time and know the pitfalls of letting an argument just go on on.
Here are the tips and ultimate ways to do love smarter in 2016 so you don’t end up sulking around the house unnecessarily.
If you are having a fight – walk away
Here is the single most important thing we’ve done in the past 15 years that has kept our marriage together.
Big tip: When it gets too heated in the kitchen – get out.
Simply walk away, calm down (even if you have to get outside or even go up to the skate park with the kids) and let the fresh air work its magic on you. I guarantee that you will return a little less angry and with at least an inkling to make amends.
Give more flowers
If you’re a man and you have really stuffed up, don’t be afraid to give your woman flowers. This is singularly one of the simplest ways to get back in a woman’s good books. I’m constantly shocked at the amount of men who overlook this simple gesture. If you are a man and your reading this please leave comments on why you may not consider giving your partner flowers after you’ve stuffed up.
Is romance really this dead?
You’ve heard this one before. Communication is key and this means talking in a rational, calm and adult way. There are many things that happen in life that will test relationships including finances, friendships, children, work pressures and family issues. If you don’t communicate what is happening in your life with your partner on a regular basis, you may find that any issues exterior from your relationship may affect your happy couple-dom. If your husband or wife has full knowledge of what is going on with you, they are much more likely to be understanding of why you might be acting in a certain way. Talk about everything.
Don’t go to bed angry
I’ve heard many older couples give this advice out and I like it. After a while anger is a completely wasted emotion and if you let it fester into the night, you will wake up even more bitter. Frankly, bitterness is not a trait to be proud off and only gets worse with age if you don’t get this emotion under control from the outset. Sometimes you just have to ‘let it go’, learn from what happened, try to react better next time and start over.
You don’t always have to be right
Do understand that you don’t always have to be right. Life is far too short and nobody really cares whether you are right or wrong, except you!
Here are five more ways to do love smarter in 2016:
- Don’t try to make a point when you’re tired
- Get out of the house and go for a walk if it gets heated
- Try not to yell – you won’t achieve much
- Be kind and support each other
- Be as understanding as possible
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